Hello and a warm welcome to all the newly divorced men joining me from around the world.  I'm Ade Morcom, a divorced dad who has gone through the proverbial wringer, survived, relaunched and is now thriving in a new life. An avid believer in embracing life at whatever stage.

Our journeys may all be slightly different but we all have a common thread and goal. Starting again, and rebuilding what we all lost.

Forties, 50s,60s and beyond, in fact, at any age I think there is something here to be shared and learned.

Every day, loving and embracing this amazing planet we all call Earth. I live life as a dad enjoying and experiencing some of the most inspiring times of my life, and looking forward to achieving many more dreams. Never thinking about what if or what was.

I tag myself as a relaunch coach, helping men start again after a divorce. Embracing modern methods of rebuilding wealth. A life free from geographical ties and old thinking, achieving success and results when life seems to have hit a dead end.

My new choices

Once I'd wholeheartedly decided to relaunch my life back in 2021, I was asked by many people about my new choices. At first, I didn’t know what to say or how to explain my newfound career and life. Indeed it was difficult to define or put a finger on what changed so I started jotting down some of my thoughts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

We weren't rich, far from it but we were ok off and were a happy family.

My mom, dad older brother sister. Growing up in a small working-class town presented its challenges with life at the local comprehensive being particularly tough but it was a great chance to learn life skills. Endlessly watching TV as a youngster, especially Only Fools and Horses, I was fascinated by Del Boy and his wheeler-dealer ways! I too wanted to be a "Millionaire"

At the age of 11, my school recommended to my parents that I sit entrance exams for the local private school which offered assisted places... but my dad refused. With my dad's working-class upbringing in Birmingham, comprehensive was good enough!

Disappointing

School life and my education didn’t get off to a great start, as I failed every one of the ten ‘0’ levels I sat. Understandably my dad was cross but more than that he was disappointed in his boy. Looking back I realise what a waste my school life had been. Unsurprisingly, with those pathetic exam results, University wasn’t an option, so I set off to try and build an empire.

After spending several enjoyable years working in the garden centre industry, I soon decided making someone else's fortune wasn't my idea of fun, nor was working every weekend. With great enthusiasm, my grand plan was put into action. Going into business for myself.

I opened a takeaway sandwich shop opposite the local McDonalds, called The Knobbly Cob! Foolishly, did I think I could take them on? It did okay, but wasn't the dream lifestyle I was looking for and the hours were awful and repetitive.

Next came 2 clothes shops in Worcester by the name of " Mustard". My grand plan was up and running. I was on my way to becoming a millionaire, or so I believed.

Later in my entrepreneurial career I even spent a short time building custom motorbikes, which is still a passion of mine, plus were lots of other crazy ideas in between.

After realising working for yourself was hard work and not always well paid, I found myself heading to London and started working as an estate agent in Richmond, Surrey. Soon I did well, with the many years of being a self-employed wheeler dealer having some benefits. I had learned many skills on my journey and now they were paying off. Managing my own office came in no time and whilst I wasn’t a millionaire I was having fun, but I found myself building someone else's dream.

All-out career girl.

Then came married life to my then-wife Sophie, who was an all-out career girl, forging her way up the corporate US tech ladder, jetting off here there and everywhere. Indeed life was great.

Whilst on holiday on the beach in Sri Lanka, we had made the decision I should quit the six days a week, 8 until late estate agent job. Our son was due to be born and My work-life balance was awful. I sent a resignation email to my then-boss, and that was it. I never went back.

With her encouragement and financial support, I’d become a sort of stay-at-home dad.

Soon we had 2 kids and I set about raising them while I renovated our new house. I spent the rest of my time working self-employed as a small-time landscaper. It sounds ideal and it was okay, but life was passing me by, leaving me behind. I had given up on my dreams. The total opposite of when we met.

Once upon a time, I was a go-getter ideas man who just did it. Whatever... it was! No thought of failure just balls out and got on with it. Besides, that’s who she fell for. Somehow over the years, I'd changed. Gone was the man she fell in love with, replaced by a 50-year-old sort of successful man who had settled for gardening as a career.

I dreaded dinner parties "What do you do for a living Ade?”

I tried to avoid them like the plague.

The easy life.

Lulled into the easy life of a part-time gardener dad, I had mistaken her enthusiasm at work and the never-ending meetings all over the world as a commitment to her job. Surprisingly and totally by accident, I read a text from her boss.

Realising the mother of your children and the woman you love is cheating on you changes your life forever.

Unsurprisingly life was never the same again. Stripped of everything I held in my heart, my memories and my dreams were no longer mine. They felt like a lie, photos an even crueller lie, taunting me with the life we once had.

Everything of value was taken away. My life fell apart. These became the darkest days of my life.

For months I just wanted to sleep to take away the constant question of WHY which played over and over in my head on a never-ending loop. I contemplated suicide on many occasions. Ultimately my love of my kids and professional help I came to my senses.

It felt like torture. A nightmare, but one I woke up to, not from!

Moreover, the following 2 years of lies and cheating left me further broken.

It’s at these times you realise how little help there is available to middle-aged Dads. Sound familiar? It's the reason I started this blog.

Maybe you're in that situation right now.

There is no checklist or rule book for you to follow. They don’t teach this shit at school. No blueprint. Pythagoras’s theory isn't going to help you solve this problem.

You need clear thinking and perfectly sound thought-through advice, or you won’t make it. Period. Advice from your mates down the pub who haven’t been through it will only get you in deeper trouble. Even worse, advice from men who have been through it and have become bitter and angry, always blaming someone else for the situation they are in, unwilling to let go and unwilling to move on.

Drink and drugs

Drink and drugs don’t make things better either. Believe me, I tried.

To guide you through you need people who’ve been through it and made a new start, those who have thrived after divorce.

It’s a tough journey. You don’t want bitter angry men still hating on their exes. You need positive forward thinkers making good choices and building new lives. People who have rebuilt and thrived after divorce, have gone through the same experience and grown.

A blueprint!

Without guidance, I can truly say I wouldn’t have made it through the first 6 weeks let alone 6 months. It was the helping hand I needed to cling to for dear life. I hear so many stories from dads about how they contemplated suicide brought on by the pressures of money, worthlessness, and loneliness.  It's the main reason I decided to write this blog and relaunch website.

Divorce left me scared for my future. I’d lost my wife, my house, my kids and most of my wealth. My business was soon to follow.

I couldn't get a mortgage, so I rented a small house. I had few savings, no job to speak of and to top it all my landlord wanted me to pay a year’s rent upfront as my business didn't earn enough to pay monthly.

I clearly remember, one afternoon in front of my kids, I broke down sobbing uncontrollably in our local Starbucks because my credit card got declined. It was then I knew enough was enough and I had to change.

My Epiphany

'Why become the loser man she wants me to become to justify her actions.'

Finding myself thrust headfirst into the divorced world was challenging, but into the single, digital world I was lost.

Internet dating sites

YouTube, Snapchat, internet dating sites, phone apps or making a living from a laptop, I didn’t have a clue! I couldn’t even change the time on my cooker. My old gardening life had very little relevance and therefore my future seemed bleak trying to rebuild. I hadn’t lost everything, but I’d lost enough to need to find work or a job that paid well and fast. I calculated my life had just been set back around 30 years.

At 53 and with no formal qualification or experience in the modern workplace, this well-paid job proved impossible to find. Too old, past it and feeling very sorry for myself I had to rethink.

A whole new way of life needed to be learned if I was to survive, I had to re-ignite what I’d lost and relaunch myself in a modern world.

Once again my epiphany loomed large,

'Why become the loser man she wants me to become to justify her actions'

I said it to myself over and over again, repeating it when I let the doubts creep in.

I saw it as a chance to start again. An exciting new chapter. A challenge to those who doubted me and a chance to get even. Poetic justice.

Change

I can’t even remember how I ended up with a copy of a short best-selling book called “How to fix your shit” by Shaa Wasmund but I urge every one of you to read it.

It changed my life.

A revolution occurred in my head. My thinking changed. Maybe there was hope after the divorce? Maybe I could rebuild?

Relaunch dad?

I committed to learning as much new stuff as possible. I watched endless YouTube tutorials on how to start a business on the internet. Print on demand, drop shipping, how to build a YouTube channel, you name it I watched it. Immersing myself in learning a new modern way which would give me the freedom I craved whilst giving me the income I needed. I knew nothing but I was willing to learn and if the people I was learning from were making it work I was dam sure I could too.

One opportunity which was recommended by a friend, just resonated with me. I downloaded and watched a short series of tutorial videos and learned how I could fulfil my dreams. It was an educational internet platform where I could learn strategic planning for small businesses and the secret of marketing online. It wasn't a sexy get-rich-quick scheme with Ferrari-driving entrepreneurs diving off flash yachts, instead, it wasn't a business at all. It was an education on how to exploit and harness the 4 pillars of success in a modern world.

People, systems, technology and Money.

This was different from virtually every other advertised thing I had come across on the internet. I was intrigued enough to learn more.

I watched a short free introductory video course, and the rest as they say is history.

I now choose where I work, often from my holiday home on the island of Korcula in the Adriatic Sea.

My life has been transformed.

When asked

"So Ade, what do you do for a living". I reply.

"I help divorced dads relaunch their lives and rebuild their wealth" ... much better!

An opportunity

It has now become an opportunity to give back the help and wisdom I received from others. To help rebuild and relaunch dads, rebuilding their dreams and their fortunes after divorce.

I have put my heart and soul into this website to serve the scores of men who have become my readers and followers. To help and advise dads on how to go about rebuilding and starting again, especially when it seems too big a mountain to climb. To see the world from a whole new perspective!

From the top.

I will be here to help you and clear your doubts about your future. Do drop me a message in the comments space and I promise to respond ASAP.

Your story may be similar or a little different to mine but take a moment to imagine where you could be in 12 short months from now.

Same old worry, bitterness, and unfulfilled pottential.

Or a life full of optimism, wealth and fulfilling experiences.

It's great you’re taking the time to read this and start to relaunch your life. Not accepting that tomorrow will be the same shit day as today or yesterday. I applaud you for taking the first of many steps. You are already a winner and have what it takes to succeed.

All the best to moving on from the ex, relaunching and becoming the “millionaire” within. Living the life you deserve for you and your family.

Mission Possible.

Ade Morcom.