How to Instruct a Solicitor

when to appoint a solicitor

Appointing a solicitor to represent you in a divorce is an important decision.

Not only is it time-consuming, but it can also be financially draining. It's essential to make sure you choose the right solicitor for your needs and for the right reasons.

It seems daunting at the outset but like everything, with some learning a little knowledge goes a long way and can save you a fortune.

This I hope provides confidence and guidance on how to instruct a solicitor for your divorce proceedings, but you must decide when you need one and for what purpose.

I’m writing this article for those men who have come across this blog post early in the divorce process and yet haven’t completed or even started the court process.

Myself, I  chose to instruct, then got rid of him and continued the work myself. Once happy I then instructed another just to tidy up some legalities at the end.

What a Divorce Solicitor Can Do for You

A divorce solicitor can provide the legal advice and representation necessary to ensure that your divorce proceedings are handled correctly. They can provide advice on the best course of action for your specific situation and will be able to advise you on the likely outcome of a divorce.

That’s the official line but be very careful how you approach this. I was advised very early on not to instruct a solicitor and to work through the legal process and negotiations myself in conjunction with my wife.

Of course, being an alfa male, I ignored this advice and instead chose the advice from friends.

They knew a friend that had instructed a big-shot city solicitor, who had helped another friend fleece someone they once knew.

Ok, it wasn’t that flimsy a recommendation. But you get the idea. All I could see was big bucks and I went for them. It’s interesting when I look back and note that it was early in the separation process and my emotions took control.

Within just 2 months my bill was already 24k and rising, fast. Faster than I could afford.

What a costly mistake this proved to be. The small savings I did have were soon disappearing and reappearing in my solicitor’s bank balance. All they had done was send out some forms for me to fill in and some threatening letters to my ex. They made things worse from the get-go as it just put her back up.

It had become very apparent that every second on the phone, every e-mail sent and every letter posted, I would be billed. The cost racked up at an alarming rate especially as they weren’t on £12.50 an hour, far from it. I’m embarrassed to say that they charged over £200 an hour. What was I thinking!!!!

The reality was, I was not thinking at all. I had let my emotions and greed get in the way and do the thinking for me. I wasn’t thinking consciously.

When chasing stories of getting everything, the best advice I can give when you are tempted to go for the most expensive solicitor you can find is don’t.

I am convinced, that once you sign their agreement, sadly the only thing they're interested in is how much money they can make. They make you feel that their way is best.

They will insist on no direct dialogue with the ex, only through solicitors. Agree on nothing without speaking to them first. Try to take everything as she will if given the chance.

Leave her with nothing. Exaggerate all your ongoing costs and outgoings. Think only of yourself. Do not get advice from others.

The list was endless. Looking back I realise it was damaging and unnecessary for both of us. As a result of my actions, her solicitor bill increased considerably. I was too blind to see that the money was just being wasted and got us nowhere. They wanted to have all the negotiations in court and I dread to think what that would have cost.

when to appoint a solicitorUnless you have a small fortune that you want to hide, waste or have very complicated affairs to settle, don’t bother. The money you will save can be put to much better use in your future learning and relaunch.

Sit down with your ex and discuss moving things forward. When you have thrashed out the bones of an agreement, then you can get a solicitor to look at your proposal. Granted this may take a while.

When you do get a solicitor chose one in full agreement with your ex-wife. Choosing someone local is my advice. Make sure she knows you are not setting off to fleece her behind her back with a solicitor like I outlined earlier, and in return, she will be more inclined not to do that to you.

Be clear that you don’t need him to negotiate on your behalf unless you have made a total Horlicks of it yourself and he thinks that the agreement will not be passed by the judge. Ask him to only look at the legal aspects of the agreement.

If children are involved and custody is going to be shared equally then a 50/50 split is a fair and great place to start.

You may hate her for what she’s done but the kids will need a roof over their heads and food on both tables. The judge will see it this way too. They are no fools.

When to appoint.

A solicitor will also be able to represent you in court if you are needed to attend. And I will emphasise if.

Attending court in person is highly unlikely, and the paperwork you will have submitted, will, on most occasions be sufficient for proceedings to be heard, considered and concluded.

It’s nothing like in the movies and nearly all cases are heard behind closed doors at the family court in Birmingham.

Financial matters and arrangements for children are dealt with separately from your divorce. Like your divorce, these matters are unlikely to require your attendance in court if both parties agree to the arrangements.

Instructing a Solicitor

Research potential solicitors. Look online to find potential solicitors in your area. Check their ratings and reviews to ensure they have the experience and qualifications necessary to represent you. Most who advertise will state they cover divorce so this shouldn’t be too much of a problem.

Once you've narrowed down your list of potential solicitors, arrange for a chat either face to face or at least a phone call to ask about their experience in handling divorces.

Explain your situation. When you consult with a solicitor, provide as much information as you can about the nature of your divorce. Be specific. This will help them understand the exact nature of your case and needs.

Discuss costs. Ask the solicitor how much they charge for their services, and what other costs may be associated with the case. They won’t be cheap whomever you go with so make sure they know you are on a budget.

Agree on the terms. Remember that you are quite capable of handling the negotiations yourself. They can vet your handy work afterwards and then guide you.

Final Step

There is a final step which I believe is imperative even if you decide to instruct a solicitor from the start.

Take it upon yourself to do your learning and reading. It will save you a ton of time and money and if nothing else will give you confidence and peace of mind when discussing the matters at hand.

Solicitors are like sharks and will smell money if you do not have under your hat, at the very least a basic understanding of procedures.

Whether you have or have not instructed a solicitor, you will need at some point to fill in and prepare the paperwork related to your divorce. This will include applying for divorce and financial statements. Your divorce solicitor will be able to provide advice and assistance in preparing the paperwork if you need it but again, I urge you to do this yourself. It isn’t that hard. You can always go to them once you have done your best.

It's very tempting when filling in the financial statement to exaggerate everything. I was encouraged to do just this by my expensive city solicitor. They provided me with their forms.

They were exhaustive and even had expenditure columns for ALL my kids’ teachers ‘end-of-term gifts’ and EVERY relative’s birthday and Christmas present. It was mental and a lie. I am very happy to say, those forms never got submitted.

When they start negotiating on your behalf, advising on what you should be getting, that the costs skyrocket. You have been warned.

Once the paperwork is completed, it will be submitted to the court. It will then be up to the court to determine the outcome of your divorce. If the judge thinks any one side is being unfairly looked after, he will not grant the divorce and you will have to go back and negotiate again.

It’s a fair process for all involved.

Divorce proceedings and negotiations will not happen overnight.

I advise you to take your time, even to start. Waiting until emotions are no longer running high. This can be much more productive than jumping in while the fire is still hot.

It is important to ensure that you have taken the time to consider all angles on both sides where possible.

Remember, a solicitor will be able to provide advice and representation throughout the divorce process and can help to ensure that you are getting the outcome you deserve but ultimately this may cost you more than you gain.

All that glitters is not gold.

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Many thanks in advance and enjoy.

Best Ade

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