Relaunching Life After Divorce
Relaunching life after divorce can seem daunting, but they say, "When life serves you lemons learn to make lemonade!"
We’ve all heard the above saying and many similar no-doubt. Well, when life serves you up a divorce either out of the blue or after a breakdown in your relationship it's initially almost impossible to see where the lemonade is going to magically appear from.
Rest assured, many of you finding this page are on the same journey, maybe at different stages, but metaphorically we are all somewhere along the lemonade conveyor belt.
For me, and for lots of other dads that I have spoken to on social media, one of the biggest issues that they face after divorce is the feeling of utter rejection, and somehow, we just weren't good enough, some even think it was their fault!
Inside, somehow you feel like you should have done better. A feeling you let the family down. This is often amplified by the ex telling everyone that you are to blame, normally to justify her actions. Couple this with massive emotional upheaval, maybe moving out of the family home, losing huge amounts of savings and pension, plus not getting to see your kids and you have a recipe for some very tough times ahead.
How do I know?
Well, that was me just 3 short years ago, broken, living in a rented house, working all hours possible for not enough money, and feeling pretty dam sorry for myself. Looking back, it was for good reason! It was the toughest darkest time of my life. I calculated that the divorce left me 20-30 years behind where I thought I would be aged 50. Instead of looking forward to winding down and not worrying about the future, I was staring at an ever-dwindling bank balance not knowing how I could make a change.
Things came to a head when I had a mini breakdown, in Starbucks of all places. I look back now and laugh but at the time I had reached rock bottom. I was with my kids, we had just ordered but when I came to pay my card got declined. I knew I was running close to the wire. Bills had been stacking up. School trips, rent, gas, electric and now this. I finally broke. I had no way of paying.
I burst into tears in front of the whole coffee shop.
It was at that point I knew I had to change. There was no want to change.
I had to change.
Changing your life for good. is not easy but it is possible. How amazing will it feel changing how others perceive you, including your ex?
This isn't an exercise to get her back, more a chance of sweet revenge, knowing inside you have become the man she probably secretly wanted all the time. Neither is it anything to boast about, it's just inner satisfaction in knowing you are a great man and dad.
To fill the lemonade cup and achieve sweet revenge it t will take time, self-learning and a never quit attitude Using these things correctly you will be able to prove to yourself that you are an amazing man and have lots to offer to this world. Even if your ex-partner chose or chooses to think and say otherwise now, she will finally see she made a mistake.
This very thing happened to me.
This relaunched blog is for dads who don't want to blame and hate their exes but accept that things happened for a reason and that they find themselves with a need to change.
Relaunching dads isn't about recrimination or being bitter. There are lots of other sites and blogs for that. Here it's about seeing yourself for who and what you are.
Some of this learning and finding out, will need you to take a good hard look in the mirror, it will take time to adopt new habits and ways of doing things .... will it be worth it? For me it was.
Just 3 years after divorce I'm loving my new life.
I'm not offering a miracle cure or get-rich-quick scheme, just sharing things I have learned. Ways in which you can have a huge positive effect on your future and those close to you. It is within everyone to be able to change their tomorrow for the better.
Concentrate on the practical things you can put into action and practice daily, which I believe will make a huge difference to your divorce experience. Make this a journey moving forward through experiential learning and positivity, not hate, bitterness and recriminations.
This journey is an individual one best taken with a friendly guide or helping hand. You rarely ever succeed without reaching out to others. For some this journey will be easy and the branches of the lemon tree will be full almost overnight. For others, it may take more time, but with a helping hand, consistent effort and plugging into the right programs success can be inevitable.
Especially amongst Middle-aged dads, with nearly 35% of all marriages over the past 50 years now ending in divorce, it’s a ticking time bomb.
Think about how you felt after initially finding out your marriage was over. You may feel dreadful, scared and alone. I know I did. Whether it was a bolt out of the blue or you knew it was coming, nothing prepares you for what was to come. At the same time, there’s not much in the way of guidance available either!
What’s needed is a Blueprint, a survival guide. Something that helps you through day by day, holding your hand along the journey when you come to rebuild.
Think back to when you were a child.
None of us knew how to walk when we first stood up. You fell over! Your mom picked you back up but this time she held your hand. You learnt to walk with your mom's help. She’d already learnt the secrets in her life and was now sharing them with you. With the help and a never quit attitude, you can overcome most things that life throws at you.... including lemons.
To Relaunch you will find yourself in need of things you lost partly, or fully. Money, house, car and possibly your sanity.
I aim to provide you with some of the tools, insights and shortcuts needed to rebuild. getting back those things lost for yourself and your loved ones becomes a priority.
Rebuilding Wealth
Are you one of the many men coming out of divorce a lot worse off than they could ever imagine? Worse still you can't ever see a way of things changing for the better?
You may have ended up with some money, but nothing compared to what you are used to or need going forward to achieve the life you lost. After the divorce, I calculated I was at least 20 years behind where I thought I would be financially. The problem was I didn't have 20 years left to get it back!!
For me and most dads, this is the big problem, running out of time.
You need a shortcut. Thankfully, rebuilding your financial freedom, lots of other worries are eliminated too. It's amazing who wants to hang out once you're successful again!
In many cases, the family home is either sold or the ex gets it to live in, and you get to fend for yourself. It doesn’t always seem fair but unfortunately, it’s the way the law works. Especially when there are kids involved, this may occur. Finding yourself in either a rented house or in a house you bought probably with a big mortgage, is far from ideal.
Mortgages can be tough on a single income or even impossible as in my case. Sound financial advice is one thing but rebuilding wealth is hard. You need to learn new skills and a new way of making money in a fast-changing modern world.
It’s estimated that on average you lose at least 77% of your wealth and your family income drops by over 45%.
Maybe you're struggling to maintain your job or maybe it just doesn't pay enough anymore. Losing a partner’s income can have a big impact on standards of living. Even though you are now single bills remain higher than ever.
For many, this need to regain wealth is a huge mountain to climb in today’s world. Living a life that you are neither accustomed to nor prepared for, can be hugely challenging. It can be especially hard for men who have become overlooked in the workplace and whose skills are no longer relevant in a modern digital world.
If that’s where you find yourself today, then believe me I feel your pain, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. You can get back the financial freedom you once had and the life you thought was gone forever by following in the footsteps of the new modern wealthy.
Finding a way to make money becomes a priority to survive and not just a way to prove her wrong.
You may have realised that you can't continue doing what you're doing if you want any chance of rebuilding the life you lost. Or in many cases living a much better one.
I found myself in exactly this position.
I knew that there was a digital gold rush happening.
The advancements in working from home and learning online, coupled with the huge progress in technology and ease of use opened a new opportunity for me and many other dads.
I now have a way that I can work for myself, with complete geographical and time freedom developing an income stream far more than anything I previously imagined possible.
You don’t need your own products, premises, or staff yet you can build and scale a global business working from wherever you choose. And to top it all there is no limit to how big or profitable you want to make it become.
With just a laptop & an internet connection, you can start a hyper-profitable business online selling physical and digital products which don’t even have to be your own. With just a few hours a day, coupled with a business blueprint taught by hugely successful digital entrepreneurs, you can create a fully automated business which will run from anywhere in the world.
Old business rules don’t apply. All you need is a willingness to learn something new. Additionally, you have the opportunity to leave behind the 9-5 along with your broken divorced life and get to create one far beyond your dreams.
In the same way, as I have, I now help many struggling dads find financial freedom.
I believe that if I can help just one dad, get back the pride, money and life they lost, then it will be a journey worth travelling.
I now get to take the kids out without credit card stress, which is great. I’m no longer in a rented house and the home of my dreams is now a reality.
What happens if you do nothing to change your life?
Worst scenario, you carry on just as you are, worrying about money, the house, and how your ex ruined your life. The ‘what if’ question continues to play over and over in your head.
Now imagine, just a few short years from now, you could be living the life of your dreams, free from old stresses and worries.
Day after day making your kids proud.
Better still, making yourself proud, for taking the action that earned back all that you lost, and gave you so much more.
Do what it takes to prove your ex wrong, and yourself right.
Subscribe to receive my free Relaunch guide and start your journey today.