Relaunching after divorce

Relaunching life after divorce can be difficult. But they say, "When life serves you lemons learn to make lemonade!"

We’ve all heard the above saying and many similar no-doubt. Well, when life serves you up a divorce either out of the blue or after a breakdown in your relationship it's initially almost impossible to see where the lemonade is going to magically appear.

Rest assured, many of you finding this page are on the same journey, maybe at different stages, but metaphorically we are all somewhere along the lemonade conveyor belt.

For me, and for lots of other dads that I have spoken to on social media, one of the biggest issues that they face after divorce is the feeling of utter rejection, and somehow, we just weren't good enough.

Inside somehow, you feel like you should have done better. That you let the family down. Often this is amplified by the ex telling everyone that you are to blame, normally to justify her actions. Couple this with massive emotional upheaval, maybe moving out of the family home, losing huge amounts of savings and pension, plus not getting to see your kids and you have a recipe for some very tough times ahead.

How do I know? because that was me just 3 years before.

I finally broke

I was feeling pretty dam sorry for myself living in a rented house. Furthermore, I was working all hours possible for not enough money. It was the toughest darkest time of my life. I calculated that the divorce left me 20-30 years behind where I thought I would be aged 50. Instead of looking forward to winding down and not worrying about the future, I was staring at an ever-dwindling bank balance not knowing how I could make a meaningful change.

Things came to a head when I had a mini breakdown—standing in Starbucks of all places.

I look back now and laugh but at the time I had reached rock bottom. I was with my kids, we had just ordered when I came to pay. My card was declined. I knew I was running close to the wire. Bills had been stacking up. School trips, rent, gas, electric and now this. I had no way of paying.

I burst into tears in front of the whole coffee shop.

It was at that point I knew I had to change. There was no want to change. I had to change.

I knew what I had to do and why I had to do it!

This isn't an exercise to get her back, more a chance of sweet revenge. Neither is it anything to boast about, it's just inner satisfaction, knowing someone else will benefit from her loss and you are a great man and dad. Furthermore, you won't allow yourself to become the man she depicts you as to justify her actions. You will become strong, attractive and successful, all the things she will hate you for deep down inside. This may sound a little harsh but revenge can be served in many dishes and my experience is best achieved by rising above not occupying the same gutter she chooses to occupy.

Filling the lemonade cup will take time, self-learning and a never-quit attitude. Similarly, if you want to achieve your sweet revenge, when used correctly, you will be able to prove to yourself that you are an amazing man and have lots to offer to this world. Even if your ex-partner chooses to think and say otherwise now, she will finally see she made a mistake.

This very thing happened to me.

Changing your unfulfilled life into something amazing

This relaunched blog is for dads who don't want to blame and hate their exes but accept that things happened for a reason and that they find themselves with a need to change.

Relaunching dads isn't about recrimination or being bitter. There are lots of other sites and blogs for that. Here, it's about seeing yourself for who and what you are.

Some of this learning and finding out, will need you to take a good hard look in the mirror, it will take time to adopt new habits and ways of doing things .... will it be worth it? For me it was.

Just 3 years after divorce I'm loving my new life.

I'm not offering a miracle cure or get-rich-quick scheme, just sharing things I have learned. Ways in which you can have a huge positive effect on your future and those close to you. To change tomorrow for the better is within us all.

Furthermore, try concentrating on things you can put into action daily. These will make a huge difference to your divorce experience. A journey moving forward through experiential learning and positivity, not hate, bitterness and recriminations.

A friendly guide to relaunching

This journey is an individual one and one best taken with a friendly guide or helping hand. You rarely ever succeed without reaching out to others. For some this journey will be easy and the branches of the lemon tree will be full almost overnight. For others, it may take more time, but with a helping hand, consistent effort and plugging into the right programs success can be inevitable.

Especially amongst Middle-aged dads, with nearly 35% of all marriages over the past 50 years now ending in divorce, it’s a ticking time bomb.

Think about how you felt after initially finding out your marriage was over. I guess you felt dreadful, scared and alone. I know I did. Whether it was a bolt out of the blue or you knew it coming, nothing prepares you. At the same time, there’s not much in the way of guidance available either!

What’s needed is a Blueprint, a survival guide. Something that helps you through day by day, holding your hand along the journey when you come to rebuild.

Think back to when you were a child.

None of us knew how to walk when we first stood up. You fell over! Your mom picked you back up but this time she held your hand. You learned to walk with your mom's help. She’d already learnt the secrets in her life and was now sharing them with you. With the help and a never-quit attitude, you can overcome most things that life throws at you.... including lemons.

Relaunching, you will probably find yourself in need of things you lost partly, or fully.

Money, house, car and possibly your sanity.

I aim to provide you with some of the tools, insights and shortcuts needed to rebuild all of these. Regaining for yourself and your loved ones the things that you have lost.

Rebuilding Wealth

Are you one of the many men who come out of divorce worse off than they could ever imagine? Worse still you can't ever see a way of things changing for the better.

You may have ended up with some money, but nothing compared to what you are used to or need going forward to achieve the life you lost. After the divorce, I calculated I was at least 20-30 years behind where I thought I would be financially. The problem was I didn't have 20-30 years left to get it back!!

For me and most dads, this is the big problem, running out of time.

Success

You need a shortcut. When achieving the rebuilding of your financial freedom, lots of other worries are eliminated too. It's amazing who wants to hang out once you're successful again!

In many cases, the family home is either sold or the ex gets it to live in, and you get to fend for yourself. It doesn’t always seem fair. Unfortunately, it’s the way the law works, especially when there are kids involved. Finding yourself in a rented house or in a small house you bought with a big mortgage is far from ideal.

Money

Mortgages can be tough on a single income or even impossible as in my case. Sound financial advice is one thing but rebuilding wealth is hard. You need to learn new skills and a new way of making money in a fast-changing modern world.

 

It’s estimated that on average you lose at least 77% of your wealth and your family income drops by over 45%.

As a result of the pressures of divorce, maybe you're struggling to maintain your job or maybe it just doesn't pay enough anymore. Losing a partner’s income can have a big impact on standards of living. Even though you are now single bills remain higher than ever.

In a modern world, this need to regain wealth seems a huge mountain to climb.  Living a life that you are neither accustomed to nor prepared for, can be hugely challenging. It can be especially hard for men who have become overlooked in the workplace and their skills are no longer relevant in a modern digital world.

If that’s where you find yourself today, then believe me I feel your pain, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. You can get back the financial freedom you once had and the life you thought was gone forever by following in the footsteps of the people who have fallen by the wayside and learned to flourish despite their setbacks

Finding a way to make money becomes a priority to survive and not just a way to prove her wrong.

You may have realised that you can't continue doing what you're doing if you want any chance of rebuilding the life you lost. Or maybe you want to build a much better one.

Leveraging, people, technology, systems and money

I found myself in exactly this position.

I knew there was a digital gold rush taking place and I was lucky enough to watch a series of free videos teaching online marketing in the modern world. By leveraging, people, technology and modern ways of doing business the Internet opened up new opportunities for me and dads just like me.

I took the time to learn digital marketing skills being taught and which I now use on the internet to market any product almost anywhere in the world. Even selling something something someone else has produced, both physical and digital. Companies now pay me via affiliate schemes to market their products for them. It allows me the geographical and time freedom to work for myself developing an income stream where I write my own paycheck, free from the 9-5 and free from any boss.

I have learned to become a marketer, not a salesman, a skill I can apply to any online product. It wasn't a get-rich-quick scheme but a re-education in leveraging modern technology,  harnessing other people's systems and money. Working smart, not hard.

With just a laptop & an internet connection, you can learn the skills to build a hyper-profitable online business selling physical and digital products which don’t even have to be your own. With just a few hours a day, coupled with a business blueprint taught by hugely successful digital entrepreneurs, you can create a fully automated business which will run from anywhere in the world.

Modern ways

Old business rules don’t apply. All you need is a willingness to learn something new. You can leave your broken divorced life and embrace the one of your dreams. I am living proof. No different or talented than any other man.

My epiphany came once I realised that I was becoming the unsuccessful, broken afraid man she had portrayed me as to justify her affair. Seeing a future I could create and the person I could become there was no looking back. I could not unlearn what I had learned. How could I live every day knowing that there was a brighter future within my reach and my family's reach and I didn't take it with both hands?

I now get to take the kids out without credit card stress, which is great. The home of my dreams is now a reality.

How did I Achieve Change?

If you want to change, then click the link below and subscribe to my blog I will send the same free video I watched where you can learn how to rebuild your life in a modern digital world.

What happens if you do nothing?

There is a lot on the line. Do you want to become the man your ex-wife wants you to become or will you be the man she will secretly admire but openly hate?

What have you got to lose?

Knowing what I know now and achieving what I have, would have haunted me forever if I had not taken action.

Don't let that be you!

Worst scenario, you carry on just as you are, worrying about money, the house, and how your ex ruined your life. The ‘what if’ question continues to play over and over in your head.

Make your kids proud

Imagine, just a few short years from now, you could be living the life of your dreams, free from old stresses and worries.

Day after day making your kids proud.

Better still, making yourself proud, for taking the action that earned back all you lost.

Do what it takes to prove your ex wrong, and yourself right.

Don't waste your talent or your life.

If you would like to subscribe I will  send you  the free tutorials I watched where I was taught the skills of earning my life changing income and relaunching a new me.  

Enjoy.

Ade