How to Maximise the Freedom of Divorce. 

Finally, I’m starting to live the life of my dreams and maximise the freedom of divorce. I have changed my thinking and my life. Now, I see divorce as a chance to be who you want to be, to reset and start again. To live life by my rules.

How many married men would love to live the life they choose?

I’m writing this latest blog at my favourite beach on the island of Korcula.

I arrived early when the beach was empty but now it is busy with families enjoying the Croatian summer sun. The sea is calm like glass and the water is warm to the touch. Paradise. And now home to me for 6 months of the year.

I’ve been up for 2 hours and had a swim and now I’m sitting with a coffee and my laptop doing what I love.

Whilst divorce is often seen as a difficult and challenging process, it is important to recognize that it also presents a unique set of opportunities as I described above.  These could be in personal growth or self-discovery to new relationships and career advancements, to name but a few.

The Impact of Divorce

Sound too good to be true? Well, less than 4 harrowing and lonely years ago I found out my wife was having an affair.

Sound familiar?

Needless to say, my word fell apart for both me and my 2 young children. It was heartbreaking to see my children literally fall apart in front of my eyes. All that I believed to be true turned out to be a lie. My family as I knew and loved was gone forever.

At the age of 51, I thought my life had come to an end. I lost the love of my life, the kids I adore, friends and even some family. The divorce took its toll both emotionally and financially.

I lost half of everything we owned. I also lost my small business, mainly due to my mental health at the time. It left me with little capital to start again or rebuild.

I lacked the experience of the modern wealthy or working models and to be honest I was scared. Scared that I would never get back what I lost and scared I would grow old alone.

I’m sure when reading what I have described above it rings true with many middle-aged divorced men. What isn’t true is that all downhill and that life could not only get back on track but could be better than before.

Here I want to look at some of the issues and the opportunities that present themselves by being single again.

As I read recently

“Another man cannot steal your woman; they can only steal your problem. A woman worth her salt cannot be stolen, only those who are not, can”

And with this ringing in my ears more loudly than ever I will take a look at the opportunities that present themselves when your “problem” decides to up and leave, thus freeing you and becoming someone else’s problem.

The Opportunities Offered by Divorce
Rebuilding your Life

Divorce offers a fresh start - a chance to rebuild your life from scratch. You can make decisions and choices that are solely based on your desires and preferences. This can include moving to a new city, pursuing a different career path, or even starting a new hobby or interest. Don't limit yourself to what was known before; embrace the opportunities that come with a clean slate.

I decided early on that I wanted to stop working day-to-day as a landscaper and develop my interests online. This has allowed me my other freedom choice which was to work from abroad either on the go from a camper van or from where I am now, my holiday home.

You may have had similar dreams whilst you were married as did I but I guarantee that few of you out there ever followed them. I know I didn’t. The great news is, now you can.

With a few years of consistent work and some help, I now work from my laptop guiding men to a better life after divorce. I work from wherever I choose so long as I have 4g or internet. You don’t know how good that feels until you achieve it. I hope you do too after reading this.

 Personal Growth and Self-Discovery

Divorce can be a prime opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery.

Often, amid a relationship, individuals can lose sight of their own identity and needs. As the dust settles after a divorce, individuals have the chance to rediscover themselves, explore their passions, and pursue personal goals that may have been put on hold during their relationship.

For me, it was owning and riding motorbikes. When I was young I loved nothing more than heading out every night on my motorbike to meet up with my mates. It was only a Honda 50 back in the day but I loved being on two wheels. When I got married all that stopped. The bikes went and the nagging started.

The first thing I did when I separated was to take my full bike licence test and I bought a BMW GSA. It was old and cheap, but I was free again. I now have several bikes and ride with my mates often. Each year we manage at least one trip to Europe. I could never envisage that when I was married.

When you have no one to answer to you can do what you choose when you choose it. Whilst divorce is often seen as a difficult and challenging process, it is important to recognize that it also presents a unique set of opportunities. Opportunities in personal growth and self-discovery to new relationships and career advancements, to name but a few.

Building New Relationships After Divorce

While the end of a marriage may seem like the end of love and companionship, it is essential to remember that divorce can also lead to the creation of new relationships. Whether it's through new friendships, online dating, or simply networking, divorce offers a chance to meet new people who may align more closely with your values, interests, and aspirations. Remember that she had an affair and left for a reason. What better than the problem now be at someone else's door? As they say “Good riddance to bad rubbish”

As one door closes another will always open, you just have to learn to step through it.

My first new girlfriend after my separation was a waitress, whom I met whilst on holiday. She was 20 years younger.

She was fit and she had a cute smile so I thought what the heck, and asked her if I could meet the next day for a coffee. Bingo! We had some great times for over a year and a very healthy relationship which I cherish to this day. Being single allows you to be 21 again.

Knowing what you now know and armed with a huge new learning you are far more equipped to move forward with a new partner and relationship. No more putting up with the winging, whining and demands just because you are married. Take the opportunity to explore and try as much as you can before you settle down again if this is ultimately your goal.

Work Freedom After Divorce

Divorce can also provide opportunities for career advancement. With newfound freedom and flexibility, you may have the time and energy to invest in your career development. This can include starting a new career, business or venture.

 

Think back to when you were young and single and heading out into the world for the first time. For many of you reading this, it was over 30 years ago.

The world of work is now a very different place. We didn’t even have the internet when I left school and the only computer I had was a Sinclair Spectrum!

Think of the opportunity opened by the adoption of computers and social media since we started out after school.  It's time to move into the digital world and embrace the modern way of work.

If you talk to school leavers these days, they don't want to work in offices or boring jobs. They want to travel, see the world, blog, influence and build their own futures, often, online.

And do you blame them? Knowing what I know now I would never have followed the career path I followed.

Utilize the modern resources at hand to pave the way towards success in your chosen career. You may have to retool to be relevant in the modern world, as did I but there is a huge opportunity to learn from your laptop and online. Self-learning and self-improvement is a multi-billion-dollar industry which is open to us all for both learning and making a living.

Click here to see the opportunity I took which has enabled me to live my dream of working from my laptop free from the worries and constraints of the traditional workplace.

To conclude, although divorce may initially be viewed as a setback, it is crucial to recognize the range of opportunities that it can offer. Embrace the chance to redefine yourself, explore your passions, and strive for your goals. Remember, it's never too late for a new beginning.

Change happens in an instant. Make that change.

If you would like to know more, subscribe to my blog click the link below and as a thank you I will forward to your inbox My free 77-page book: Relaunching Dads Mission Possible 

I will also include a link so that you can watch the same tutorials that I watched which have helped me learn how to market online in the modern world.

Many thanks in advance and enjoy.

Best Ade