Signs She's Being Unfaithful

Spotting the tell-tale signs she's being unfaithful is painful but suspecting she is cheating behind your back is sometimes worse. Seeing the tell-tail signs and spotting unfaithfulness can be tricky but with a few pointers you can become a super sleuth.

It's the not knowing that eats away at you like a mouldy grape in the fruit bowl. Affecting every part of your life and every thought, causing untold stress and anxiety. It was meant to be a lifelong marriage commitment f with love, respect, and trust. However, if your partner has other ideas, it will inevitably lead to heartbreak and the end of your marriage. Sound very familiar? If that’s what happened to you then you have my sympathy.

How do I know? I know because my ex-wife was sleeping with her boss for around 6 months before I found out, but in hindsight, there were tell-tale signs all along the way. Little red flags.

I dismissed them all, one by one because why wouldn’t I? We were very happily married, or so I thought.

Maybe you are thinking that right now too. Maybe you are reading this because you suspect she is cheating but like me, you can’t let yourself believe, it because you too are happily married. I feel for you if that’s the case but if I had a pound from every man, I heard the line.

“I thought we were happily married”.

I would have retired long ago.

If you so much feel or think your wife is being unfaithful, it’s probably your inner you giving you a warning shot across the bow, don’t ignore it. Your intuition is rarely wrong and it’s your rational mind that will talk you out of your feelings of mistrust.

Many signs may confirm your suspicions.

Here are the most common warning signs your wife is being unfaithful, and what you should do if you suspect she is cheating on you:

Tell-tail signs she's cheating

 

It was only when we were out with a group of friends one summer's afternoon at a local restaurant celebrating a friend’s christening that a good friend and recently divorced dad sat next to me and said the words.

‘If I didn’t know better, I would say your wife is having an affair’.

As you can imagine I was all ears, and he went on to explain his reasons.

Sophie was sitting away from me on the opposite side of the table, checking her phone every 2 minutes.

Each time she read the incoming text a slight smile came over her face. Nothing big, but a grin that said a thousand words.

Not replying to each text, but when she did, the same grim appeared on her face.

This checking continued throughout the meal.

It's hard to spot such subtle behaviour changes in your partner. Texting was unusual for her whilst out with friends so I didn't notice every text when we were out socialising with friends.

My friend spotted everyone.

He had seen the same behaviour from his now ex-wife just 12 months before and knew the signs instantly.

To say I was shocked was an understatement and from this point forward my suspicion was aroused, and my guard was up.

Sadly for me, this is a huge red flag and one I failed to spot because I never thought our marriage was in trouble or that she would be having an affair.

Over the coming weeks, I made a point of watching the phone usage and behaviour and sure enough the same grin appeared over and over again when she texted. The texting was often frantic, and often when she thought I wasn’t watching.

I never checked her phone usage or messages, maybe I should have but at this point, I was still in denial.

Sitting, grinning away on the sofa like a school girl with a crush on her first boyfriend I watched as she texted back and forth. I left the room temporarily but quietly reentered behind the sofa.

looking over her shoulder it read.

‘Can’t wait to be back in bed with you”.

To say that my world fell apart was an understatement.

The Phone to calls show she's cheating.

Before any of the texting was brought to my attention other very subtle phone changes occurred. Changes I would never have thought anything of, but put together they started to paint a different picture.

When Sophie travelled abroad for work, which was not uncommon she would always call when she went to bed and ready to go to sleep. This call was often by whats app, keen to show me her hotel room and surroundings. Over the past few trips, the calls started to be at 7.30 or 8 saying she was getting an early night at she was worn out. Sometimes no video calls only audio.

Neither was strange at the time. Sadly I later found out it was because often she was sharing a room with her boss. They were either out for dinner early in the evening or she was otherwise engaged, if you get my drift.

Spot the signs early

Taking a call and then heading out of the room or out of earshot, is a guaranteed sign she’s up to no good. It’s particularly damming if she takes a call and disappears during family time or a special occasion. It’s a classic tell-tale sign.

I once observed a good friend take a call during his birthday celebrations at home and head into his front garden for 5 minutes to take the call. Same big grin on his face. Within 6 months he was separated from his then-wife of 7 years.

Also, be very suspicious of phone pin changes. No one changes a pin lock code for nothing.

This could also manifest as a lack of interest in sex or being intimate with you. Indeed, we all go through dry spells, but if she keeps on making excuses then start to think the worst.

When she suddenly starts working out, hitting the gym or is always wearing good "going out" clothes, it could be that she's playing away. This is especially true if the bedroom gymnastics have dried up too.

Again, this for me when I look back should have rung more alarm bells than it did but at a time when you think all is good with the marriage why should it?

Vagueness in her wherabouts

Vagueness in her whereabouts or with whom she is going out should make you start to think. When you receive only one call at the start of the evening, is probably not a great sign.  Later in the evening, she will be otherwise engaged. If you call and she doesn’t answer, again she’s up to no good.

This will sound obvious, but believe me, I didn’t think anything about my wife staying away overnight with friends until I found out about her affair. If she stays away overnight without good reason or at best a weak reason, then have your suspicions. Best friends often cover for them too so don’t trust them to tell you the truth if you ask.

Unfaithful wives learn new tricks.

If you do manage to get some action but your wife suddenly tries something new or asks you to perform something new, then I almost guarantee she’s been up to no good. Married women don’t just change overnight and it’s a sure sign something is wrong.

 Being Emotionally distant.

Again, this is something that you might ignore but if your wife becomes emotionally distant and doesn’t share her thoughts, feelings, and innermost ideas as often as she used to, it could be a sign that she’s having an affair.

Indeed, when your wife is distant from you emotionally this change will come in terms of the regularity and depth of your conversations. You feel feeling abandoned and desperate for intimate interaction with her company, but getting nothing in the way of companionship. This is tough to handle as you won’t know why but the feeling of rejection will be very real.

I look back now and realise that for probably 5/6 months I felt emotionally abandoned. That was tough.

Don't ignore signs she's being unfaithful.

If something that’s not yours turns up in the wash basket or the sock draw, don’t ignore it as I did.

An affair was so far off my radar that even when a black silky sock, which quite clearly wasn’t mine, did turn up in my sock draw after one of her trips away, I dismissed it.

Although I did think it strange, I never did think it would be from a man she was sharing our bed with.

When you have a gut feeling your spouse is cheating on you, she probably is.

Don’t let your length of marriage or her sweet past fool you. Yes, there may be a reasonable and innocent explanation for changes in her habits and behaviours, but they are all very capable of blatant lies and deceit. Unfortunately, it seems to be the ones from whom you expect it the least that fool you the most.

If you think butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth, then think again. Additionally, ignoring the small things can be easy. Put together they are huge indications that she's having an affair.

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Many thanks in advance and enjoy.

Best Ade